I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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