Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize