The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
