Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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