Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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