Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
