If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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