I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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