She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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