I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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