What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
