Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
