people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
