nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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