As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
do herpes really smell.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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