I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
