so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
