a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
