it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
