so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
