i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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