She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
