Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
