It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i barfeds in our rink
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
