OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
