ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my shit smells like andre
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
