I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
