if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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