if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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