break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
