GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
