So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
