If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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