If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
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