i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
4 words: hood of his car
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
