Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
we're so committed to being not committed
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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