He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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