What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
