when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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