it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
