Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Dear god my vagina.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize