he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
