4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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