that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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