erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she told me i tasted like america
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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