i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
