You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
