do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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