WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
