just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
