spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
