Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
