You're a womanizer and a bitch.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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