yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Blood and glitter go together right?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
