Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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