im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
