I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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