K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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