I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize