Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
