They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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