I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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