there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
