Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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