So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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