We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
