If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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