hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
