I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
