The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
