weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
