I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
